I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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