what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
