i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Randomize
