honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm passing your future prison.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
