definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
