my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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