Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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