PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
