You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
