i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so let's talk penis.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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