Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
