I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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