i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
