we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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