No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
