Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize