All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
