Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My balls are so social today.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It was like getting head from an anaconda
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize