o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize