it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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