dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
