But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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