great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
