i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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