@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
