I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
