You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
