we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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