nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
