I am full of burrito and curiosity
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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