Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She's not a foreskin expert like you
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
