Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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