If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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