it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
