we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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