It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
