i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
