We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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