Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
