you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
