Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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