Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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