I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just want to make out with him forever
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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