So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
