This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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