Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
