it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
They took my balls.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
