I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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