Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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