Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
