It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
