I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize