Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
