id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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