If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
