It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
