I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize