she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
