Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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