Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
